The Heart of Things

Yesterday I turned 20. The day before was the last day of being a kid, and today I don't feel any different. I've never enjoyed growing up, nothing about responsibility has ever seemed attractive. I'd rather still be nineteen, the title of "teen" was like a passport to freedom. No pressure, just life and whatever I'd want to make of it. Not that I'm entirely serious about 20 being so depressing. I'm still me, no age is going to change that, and this I am thankful for.

I don't have a lot to say about being 20, but I suppose that's a good thing, it means I haven't changed. No new mindsets, still just me and my Daddy. Where He goes I go and I'm happy to do it =)

Today I am more officially moving into the new place in Sylvan Lake. Tonight the rooms will be rearranged, I'll bring in all my stuff and I'll have my own space. I'm pretty excited about this, it's going to be a lot of fun living with Brandt and Isaac. Such solid men of God, I couldn't ask for better people to be surrounded with. Now's the hope I was meant to be here, I mean everything about it made logical sense, but logic never has a high place in the Kingdom.

God isn't really a man to be understood. Not by us anyway. But regardless of how little I understand, or how much sense it doesn't make, I'll always be glad to do what I think God wants. I think that's what's really important anyway. If God is a God of such grace & mercy, how can doing what we think he wants ever be wrong? If the intension of our hearts is to be obedient to the Lord, how could He ever be displeased with our choices? He isn't a God of circumstance or situation. No matter what you do, if it's unto the Lord, He'll make it work.

I'm positive the Lord will bless all obedience and that we should never fear being "wrong." There is no fear of failure in the Kingdom. God won't let us do something we aren't supposed to do if we truly believe we're doing it for Him. A wise man once said "anybody can take a cracked and broken vessel and glue it together again, but it takes a true master to use those cracks and make them part of a beautiful design." That master is God and He's not kidding around when He wants us to be thankful for trials, thankful for being stretched and tested.

We're meant to bring those things to God, present to Him our hurts and our struggles and let Him make them into something beautiful. No matter what we do, no matter how wrong we think we are, God can use it all to make us stronger, it's just a matter of the heart. He doesn't see what we see, He sees so much deeper than that. If there's obedience in your heart, you'll be blessed for obeying.

God once asked a man to kill his son. I'm certain that man thought he was so wrong, was positive He hadn't heard God. There's no way God could ask something like that, but that man had obedience in his heart. How often are we convinced we're doing God's will and then run into a brick wall? I think God puts that wall there so we can learn how to recover. It isn't about how firm we stand, but how well we get back up. Life isn't going to be perfect, but a perfect recovery is a perfect life.